Are you feeling discouraged, left behind, or unproductive in your creative work?

May 4

I admit it. I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, as the saying goes.

I’m sitting here writing at the eleventh hour when I have multiple deadlines looming over me. I owe another friend some notes for a piece she’s helping me with, and I told her I’d get those to her days ago. Okay, a week ago. It’s still not done, and the list of emails I have yet to respond to grows as quickly as the laundry pile in the corner of my bedroom.

I don’t tell you this because I have some notion that busyness is a badge of honor. I’ve worn myself out far too many times to want to wear that badge anyway. Besides, if you look at my actual calendar, we’re not really that busy. We’re still living a contained life thanks to COVID precautions, and our days mostly consist of LEGOs and riding bikes in the front yard.

But I want the work I do and the way I spend my days to feel productive–and motherhood doesn’t always make that easy. I (kind of) like the feeling of having a deadline looming over me because I know it means something will eventually get done. A box will get checked off. I’ll finally sense accomplishment.

In my short (but sometimes feels like forever) six years as a mom, I’ve struggled with the lack of feeling productive. I can clean the kitchen three times a day, and by the end of the day, it still ends up covered in crumbs and dried jelly. I can fold enough laundry to last a week, and still, I find multiple pairs of dirty socks in the playroom and a pile of mud-stained clothes by my boys’ dresser.

The cycle can be exhausting, and sometimes I want to overcompensate by doing a thousand other tasks that can get checked off the list: write an essay, redo my website, post on Instagram, organize all the photos of my kids (okay, I long ago gave up on that one), or whatever the case may be. And as I desperately try to feel productive and accomplished, I take on too much.

Then I end up here, admitting to you that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

We Want to Be As Productive as Everyone Else

Wanting to be productive, wanting to accomplish our goals, and take another step forward is not bad. We know it can be a truly good thing. We don’t want to give in to laziness, and I’m all about pursuing your creative passions.

But I think where we, or at least I, get stuck in thinking it all has to be done right now. We look at the person to our right and to our left, and it seems like they’re a few steps ahead of us. I’ve got to catch up! I’m so behind! we tell ourselves.

We don’t want to just be productive. We want to be as productive as everyone else.

We don’t want to just accomplish our goals. We want to accomplish them at the same pace as everyone else.

In a podcast episode early on in her show, Emily P. Freeman said, “Your pace is your pace.” That phrase has stuck with me. The pace I’m going is the pace I’m going. Full stop. End of story. I can go at my own pace, and it’s not any better or worse than the next person. We can pursue our dreams and accomplish things on our list at our own pace.

Do you know how freeing that is?

Embracing Your Pace

There are some seasons when we can hustle more in our creative work. We may have the space for late nights, or we may simply not need as much sleep as the next person. Then there are seasons where the rest of parenting, family, relationships, our day jobs, and life in general require a greater percentage of our attention. That is okay.

We all get 168 hours in a week. If you’re wishing you could make a few more of those feel productive, you’re not alone. But let’s remember that creativity doesn’t always require the kind of productivity we sometimes crave. We may be in a season where creativity means coloring alongside our kids or jotting down notes on our phone while we nurse the baby. It might not be a season to start a monthly newsletter, commit to blogging weekly, finally learn how to use that fancy camera we got a year ago, or redo our kitchen.

But we can still create. We can still write. We can still pursue our art and creativity with passion and commitment. We may just need to let ourselves take smaller, slower steps.

If you’re feeling like you can press forward a little faster and do a little more, go for it! Pursue your creativity in a way that is life-giving for you and your family, and if you’re currently at a pace that’s an all-out run, I wholeheartedly want to be the loudest one cheering you on.

But if you’re like me, and you’re quick to compare and quick to judge yourself for not moving forward as quickly as everyone else, let me remind us both of this: only you are living your life, and you don’t need to live it as quickly or slowly as anyone else.

Someone else’s timeline is not yours.

Someone else’s season is not yours.

Someone else’s responsibilities are not the same as yours.

Create Without Comparison

You can take a breath, maybe let a few things go, and create without comparison and without fear that you’re slipping into the back of the pack. Because while some people may seem like they’re running and some of us feel like we’re limping, we are not competing against one another.

We can cheer others on wherever they are, celebrate whatever steps we’ve taken, and continue to live lives brimming with beauty and creativity – no matter what that beauty and creativity look like in our current season.

So whether you’re running, walking, or feel like you’re crawling along in your creative work, just know that you are not behind.

And I’m here, cheering you on.

An version of this post was originally published for the Exhale Creativity newsletter. Exhale is a online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, for the enrichment of both experiences. To learn more about Exhale, click here. You can also use code SARAH10 for $10 off your first month!